Deciding on what news to include in our High Meadow Retreat updates is never straightforward for the simple reason that the best stories can’t be told. The most meaningful stories would be those of the guests who come to us, their ministries, the challenges they faced that led them to seek our support, and the difference that their time with us makes to them. But confidentiality agreements don’t allow us to share any of these stories, for very good reason.
Given the limitations of what we can communicate, we thought that we would use the next few updates to share more broadly with you about what we do here at High Meadow as “retreat” can mean different things to different people.
We have received a number of enquiries from people wanting to come for debriefing. It is a widely used term, but what exactly is it? Debriefing provides a space for guests to tell their stories in some detail, to make sense of what they have been through and explore the impact of events that can be both recent and further back in time. It gives them the chance to feel heard and understood.
When a guest wants to debrief either a recent event or a long season of ministry, we sometimes use the image of unpacking a suitcase – emptying out the contents, identifying the different elements, organising them into relevant groups or categories, giving meaning to them and recognising how they have shaped the individual(s). We trace common threads woven throughout the various categories and finally, we end the time by carefully putting the contents back inside the suitcase in a more orderly manner before discussing which contents can be safely stored away and which might need some further attention. It is often helpful to balance debriefing with counselling so that guests can explore the emotional themes in greater depth (i.e. anger, anxiety, problems in the marriage, depression, etc).
The rationale for debriefing is that there is value and healing in telling our story and having it heard in a safe space. It is a highly relational exercise that, in its best form, brings wisdom and understanding of life’s events. As Ecclesiastes 3:7 says, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” The hope of debriefing is to understand the season and value the purpose for it.
In many cases, we combine sessions of debriefing with counselling or coaching in a way that suits the guests’ needs. In those sessions, we do a bit more work on the impact (counselling) or next steps and making decisions (coaching) and less focus on the events of the story. More to come on that in the next update.
